It’s the time of year when newspapers are starting to fill up with commencement addresses, words of advice and wisdom to young college graduates. Just as I was I was approaching one finish line one year ago, today I find that I am, once again, approaching a different finishing line.
I chose to move to China after reading and consulting countless articles, blogs, and people who encouraged living abroad and seeing the world. I was scared, but I also knew that I would gain invaluable life experiences that would be with me throughout my entire life. As I approach my one year mark, I can’t help but pause to reflect on my experience here and how much I’ve learned and why more than ever, I fully believe in the importance of traveling, and taking the “road less traveled.”
I came to China with a set of expectations. I came expecting that this would probably be one of the most difficult and eye-opening experiences of my life. I came expecting that the language would be difficult to adjust to and I would be lost for most of the time. I came expecting that I would probably not have hot water or a soft bed or basic school supplies other than chalk and a chalkboard to teach. I came knowing that I would probably fail as a teacher.
These expectations in some form or another were all met. But not in the way I could have anticipated ,because as most things in life, even the best laid plans will go astray.
Teaching has given me a bit of perspective. There are great days when I think “yeah, I nailed that lesson! My students loved it and it was great.” And there are days when I think, “wow, why am I doing this again? I’m pretty sure not one student got the material.” Those days are particularly rough. But here’s the thing, I still have to move on and teach another class. I have another class of eager faces excited and waiting to see their 外教 (foreign teacher).
I don’t regret any decision I’ve made here. I did what was right for me at each moment and live with the belief that every experience is meaningful if you make it so. I came to be in Suzhou teaching oral English in the most bizarre way possible. But just like teaching, sometimes you have to learn to cut your losses. Sometimes I stare out into the class and realize that I’m not reaching my students. They aren’t enjoying the lesson or grasping the new words. I see this and know I have a responsibility to change my lesson right there on the spot. It doesn’t matter if I spent hours working on it or if I think this is the most fun lesson ever. If the students don’t like it or don’t get it, it’s time to move on. Thinking up activities on the spot is hard. But it’s not about me. It’s about the kids.
When I move home this summer, I don’t know where exactly I’ll settle. What I do know is that this experience will be with me forever. The good and the bad have shaped me. I’ve met incredible people, I’ve had to make tough decisions, and I’ve had the opportunity to see amazing things. Just as I’ve learned to keep going while teaching, I’ll keep going and move forward with my next steps. I don’t regret this year. How could I after getting the chance to teach 8-13 year olds day in and day out? They remind me every day to find joy in the small things and to approach everything with excitement.