Born and raised in China, where modesty is considered an important quality, I struggled in American schools. Constantly trying to adjust to American culture and learning to better present myself, I recently put myself in an undesirable situation working for a Chinese TV station. I ask myself, should I be modest or not?
When I first started at Columbia Journalism School, I kept my Chinese habit of being modest. Soon I learned my professors and students didn’t appreciate that.
One day, I was in charge of producing a breaking news story for a TV class. I woke up before 7 a.m. and was sent out with a reporter to Jamaica, Queens. We did interviews, shot videos, and wrote the script on our way back to school. It was already 3 p.m. when we arrived, but we had to submit the project by 5:30 p.m. to be aired in that day’s newscast. I only ate some peanuts for lunch, but the most important was that we finished on time! I was starving, exhausted but so proud at that moment.
When the newscast started, one professor came to me and asked, “Hi Xian, were you here today?” I almost fainted when I heard this! I was completely concentrating on my work, sitting in the back corner of the classroom to edit the video. I didn’t say a single word to my professor until he came to me!
From that day on, I always tried to communicate more with my professors and let them know how my projects were going. And I also spoke up more during class discussions.
But this new communication style failed me during my recent job at a Chinese TV station in New York. As a newcomer, I was trying very hard to prove myself and make people like me. But somehow I felt like an outsider. I worried a lot and didn’t know what went wrong.
One day, my colleague’s very kind deed completely enlightened me! Earlier in the day, I was walking with a few colleagues back to the office, and suddenly everyone started to cross the street when we didn’t need to. I asked them why we were taking a longer route, and one explained there were homeless people standing outside a homeless shelter nearby, saying they were always there and looked kind of tough.
Then, I said I had never tried to avoid them before. I told my colleagues I had covered Harlem for my reporting at Columbia and believed lower-class people can be very nice. Nobody else said anything; the conversation just ended there.
Later, one colleague very kindly came to me when nobody else was around. He told me what I said earlier could have irritated people. He explained that my words made others look bad and lose face. I really should speak less.
I was so shocked but greatly appreciated his advice! I simply wanted to talk with my colleagues more and help them know me better so that I could be a part of the team. Looking back, I realized how many similar “mistakes” I had made!
The fact is that a lot of times speaking up for yourself is not Chinese style. As a newcomer, you are supposed to be extremely modest and almost hide yourself behind everyone else. You are also supposed to do physical works for other people, like carrying their bags, to show respect and admiration. If your peers sense that you, a newcomer, are competent and ambitious, they may see you as a threat. Lesson learned!
When you start a new job, make sure you take time to study the environment. Do they like modest people or not? You have to try your best to fit in. But after trying hard for a while, if you still feel you don’t belong there, start looking for another job. And by the way, I no longer work for that Chinese TV station.
我在中国出生和长大。在中国，谦虚一直是公认的重要美德，这让我在美国上学时很不适应。我不断努力去适应美国文化，学习如何更好地展现自己，但是最近在一家中文电视台工作期间，我却让自己陷入困难境地。我问自己，究竟应不应该谦虚?
刚来哥伦比亚大学新闻系就读的时候，我还保持着自己一贯的中国式谦虚性格。但我很快发现，我的教授和同学们并不欣赏这一点。
有一天，我负责为一门电视课制作当天的突发新闻。早上还不到7点，我就起床了。我和出镜记者被派到了皇后区的Jamaica(离市中心很远)。我们完成了采访与拍摄，在回来的路上写好了新闻稿。回到学校时已经是下午3点，我们必须要在5点半之前上交作品，并会在当天的新闻节目中播放。我中午只吃了一些花生充饥，但最重要的是我们按时完成了作品！我饥肠辘辘又疲惫不堪，然而心中充满自豪。
晚间新闻节目开始直播了，一位教授过来问我：“步宪，你今天在学校吗？”听到他的话，我几乎晕过去！我太过专注于自己的工作，一下午坐在班级最后面的一个角落里剪辑视频。那天教授跟我说话之前，我完全对他视而不见！
从那天起，我开始尽量多跟教授沟通，让他们知道我最近的工作情况。在课堂讨论过程中我也开始更多地表达自己的想法。
但最近当我在纽约一家华语电视台工作时，这一新的交流方式却让我尝到了失败的滋味。作为一个新人，我很努力地去证明我自己，想让别人喜欢我。但不知为何，总觉得自己是局外人。我很苦恼，却不知道哪里出了错。
一天，一位同事的友善之举彻底提醒了我！那天的早些时候，我跟几位同事一起走在回办公室的路上，突然大家同时开始过马路，虽然没有这个必要。我问他们为什么要绕远路，一位同事解释说，对面福利中心门前有一些流浪汉一直站在那里，看起来不和善。
就在那时，我告诉我的同事，我以前从来没有刻意去回避这些流浪汉。我说当我在哥大新闻系上学时，曾负责报道哈莱姆地区（纽约黑人区），我觉得穷人中也有很多人心地善良。当时没有人答话，这一话题就这样结束了。
后来，当别人都不在时，一位同事很好心地过来提醒我说，我之前说过的话很可能冒犯了别人。他解释说，我无心的话可能让别人难看、没面子。我平时应该尽量少说话。
那一刻我震惊了，但非常感激他对我的提醒！我只是单纯地想要多跟大家聊天，让他们更了解我，这样我才能更好更快地成为团队一员。回头一想，我才意识到我犯了多少类似的“错误”！
事实上，经常为自己说话并不是中国人的习惯作风。作为一个新人，要极度谦虚，几乎要躲在别人的影子下。也要帮别人做些类似拎包这样的体力活，来表示自己对别人的尊敬和仰慕。如果与你年龄相似的同辈人感到你这个新人很有能力，又有志向，他们很可能把你当成是一种威胁。又学到了宝贵的一课！
当你开始一份新工作，一定要花时间去研究周围的环境。他们是喜欢谦虚的人还是恰恰相反？总之要尽力去融入。但是努力了一段时间，却发现你并不属于这个新环境，那么就开始找下一份工作吧。顺便说一下，我已经不在这家中文电视台工作了。