[Only in Boston…and San Francisco] Putdowns and Patience

“That show was the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Yeah, total waste of time.”

The two girls walked through the doors in front of me, ignorant that the show’s creator was walking behind them.

It was sophomore year and I had just joined the campus television network as a first-time producer for an original show, “Explore Boston!” Since we were low on students who wanted to commit to another activity and who were actually interested in the media industry, I had to take on multiple tasks as a show producer. I wasn’t only the host; I was also in charge of scouting locations, filming b-roll, editing footage, and running the publicity campaigns. I thought it would be easy to bring a camera and tripod to Boston in the evenings to report at events and put together an interesting segment. However, it proved more difficult than usual.

The campus network held a screening for new shows and I decided to debut my show. The first event that I’d covered was a three hour-long live storytelling event for The Moth Mainstage. Once I sat down to edit the footage, I didn’t want to cut out integral parts that the storytellers had shared. I stayed up all night in the editing lab, ignoring my impending midterms and papers to shave my material down to 20 minutes. At sunrise, it hit me that the lighting in my show looked unnatural — everyone appeared washed out, but I was too tired to Google any more shortcuts and troubleshooting tricks for Final Cut Pro.

So, I brought it to the campus showcase, hopeful that the stories would resonate with the audience more than the production quality. As I watched the other shows, assembled by experienced teams of upperclassmen, I sank lower and lower in my seat. Their soundtracks, lighting, and editing blended into seamless pieces that only made mine look increasingly more amateur in comparison. When mine came on, the network’s student officers showed the first five minutes and stopped it early, claiming that there was no more time left for the entire piece at the screening.

On my way out, I heard the blunt criticism from two fellow students who I didn’t know. I thought about how I’d sacrificed so much time for the production, how I was trying so hard despite the experience I so sorely lacked, and how badly I’d hoped to create something captivating with my first show. Being the thin-skinned sophomore I was, I ran to the closest bathroom in the campus library and sank down on the floor, breaking into body-wracking sobs. Those two hadn’t known anything about me and yet they’d torn me down in a matter of seconds.

There, on the bathroom floor, I wanted to give up. No more confusing camera operating, no more uncooperative Final Cut Pro. I could so easily turn my back on everything and never worry about it again. Go back to studying and write my papers.

I called the handful of “favorites” in my contact list– and only one person picked up. I tried to articulate myself through the sniffles but couldn’t and that friend simply asked where I was. Within a few minutes, he was outside the library and I was confiding about my bruised pride.

“Don’t worry about them. There are always going to be people in this world who want to tear you down but you can’t let them win. Just keep going and you’ll get better. You’re just starting out. With experience, time, and patience, you’ll improve. I know.”

Letting my friend’s words sink in, I promised myself that I’d become a better producer. I’d learn, I’d try, and I’d persist. And I did.

I recently produced this travel video for a competition called My Biggest, Baddest Bucket List, which awards the winner with a trip to six continents over the course of six months and a chance to report on their adventures. I ran all over San Francisco in a day with my sister and a production schedule, script, and bag of wardrobe changes in hand — and I am incredibly happy about the package that I edited together.

If you have a chance, watch it here and vote for it before March 31.

And remember — it took me three years to get to this piece. That along with hard work, dedication, resilience, and the unforgettable support of a true friend.