Campus Courtship[恋爱] 校园恋爱

The dating culture on Chinese campuses is still quite a mystery to me. Kept apart by strictly enforced single-sex dorms, but stirred into a lovesick frenzy by the oversaturation of melodramatic romances on television, in movies, and the ever-popular cellphone novels, Chinese student dating culture is a unique mix of chaste and high-strung. Having a significant other is universally desired to the extent that a relationship is like a status symbol or a commodity. From my observations, I’ve compiled a list of a few key elements of carrying out a campus courtship in China.

Padded bicycle platform: This is one of the joys of living in China – getting biked around while balancing on the platform above the back wheel. Most platforms are thin metal wire racks, but some have a cushion. A padded bicycle platform for a college guy in China pretty much means only one thing – that he has a girlfriend. It’s a status symbol, an accessory to be proudly added at the greasy bike repair carts around campus once you’ve found a girl, an affirmation of your willingness to bike her around and make sure she’s comfortable.

Matching outfits: This is only to be attempted by serious couples. While it’s easy to grab matching t-shirts, many Chinese stores sell his and hers matching outfits, from hats all the way down to shoes, for extra customization. Once you’ve chosen an outfit, make sure to go everywhere with your significant other for maximum affirmation of your couple-dom.

Benches: Since they are not allowed in each other’s dorms, it’s not uncommon to find couples canoodling around campus late at night. It’s a throwback to that staple of Americana, lovers’  lanes in the 1950’s. But in China, you don’t even have the privacy of a car. Instead, as I walk back from work in the evening, I see students in lines along the campus benches or steps, leaning against each other silently and, I imagine, somewhat resignedly.

Holidays: February 14 is a big day in China too. Not only is Western-style Valentine’s Day celebrated, but it’s also Singles’ Day (单人节), ensuring that literally every person can celebrate something on February 14. Singles’ Day events are ubiquitous, from campus balls to specials at nearly every bar. 11/11 is also another Singles’ Day, a reminder that one is the loneliest number. Another lesser known holiday for lovers is May 20, because the numerical date in Chinese (五二零)  sounds slightly similar to the phrase “I love you” (我爱你). Any excuse to celebrate love!