I can’t live without ______…
If you’re asked to fill in the blank with just one thing – what is it?
For me, it’s grace.
The kind of grace that changes lives, opens homes, hearts, pocketbooks.
What prompted me thinking about this philosophical yet practical question on this windy, snowy day in New York, was the sight of a homeless man –sleeping soundly inside a bundle of blankets on the sidewalk – dead to the world around him.
Surrounding him was a whirlwind of sleet slashing our faces as we – the morning rush hour crowd – were fighting to keep our eyes open to cross the street, catch the bus or duck dangerous drivers. We were all too busy struggling to make it to our destinations to notice this lonely soul. After all, he is sleeping.
But I did notice him because I remember him.
It was just the day before when I saw him from a distance – sitting up smiling, chatting and thanking a woman who’d stopped while walking her dog to ask if he was cold. It was a bit warmer then, but still icy cold, and the guy was clearly down and out. That woman gave him a dollar as I walked past them. That image – a stranger on a stroll, reaching out to another stranger on the street – impressed me. It’s thought-provoking, memory-stirring.
One dollar won’t make a material difference in that homeless man’s life, but it’s kindness on the spot, not on demand. It’s a rare gesture, a special gift; sheer grace. It gives him hope. Someone sees him downcast; someone cares. We’d never know how that might have helped him live on and beyond his circumstances of the moment. I don’t know his story of course, but I know my own story, and countless other personal stories when physical or emotional survival depends on grace from others.
I remember my own experience with near homelessness on Sept.11th 2001 when the apartment I was house-sitting that day was located at Ground Zero. As a producer for NBC News then, I left the apartment early that morning to cover the breaking news without knowing that I couldn’t go back that night. That whole downtown area was cordoned off for two weeks. A colleague opened his home to me; dozen others donated their clothes, (all clothing stores were closed for days). Many of these colleagues didn’t know me personally, but that didn’t matter. They immediately responded to my email asking for clothes, I’d explained that I couldn’t go “home”; most of my clothes were in storage while I was between apartments.
Almost instantly, a flood of sympathy poured in. Co-workers became friends acting like family. My own family in Hong Kong meanwhile could only hope that I was alive and well that day. Hope is important, but grace is critical – not only to my own survival, but also to fulfilling their hope.
The images are still vivid – South Tower collapsed in front of my eyes, I turned around a touch late, got pushed to the ground – face down, cut my lips, hands and knees. The screaming crowd turned mad scrambling to get out of Ground Zero. In the pandemonium, I was trapped lying on the ground and taking in a few more kicks to my head and neck. No one saw me amidst the thick mushroom cloud of dust and debris. I almost didn’t get up from my fall, I asked God if I was going to die, but didn’t give that thought much time before praying for strength to get up running for my life.
It’s been more than 12 years since that day, but not a day goes by when I don’t think about the grace of that day. I can’t live without grace. I’ve been living in gratitude wanting to give back any way I can.
During this holiday season of giving and receiving, let’s remember that one thing we can’t live without, and share it. Let’s express the spirit of grace that’s classically Christmas – give what we need with what we have whenever we can.
Happy Holidays!