But anyway (those of you who come from Chinese families will understand this), there is something really unique about Chinese parties that is the same no matter where you go. When you first come in, the parents always comment about whether you got fatter or skinnier since they last saw you. (This time for me it was skinnier—score.) Then they comment on how you get prettier every day, and you blush and lower your eyelids and say “na li na li,” denying it in the modest way that is acceptable among Asians. Then comes the core of the party where the parents take over one table and the “kids” (we’re still kids of course, despite the fact that one of us already graduated college and the rest of us were in high school or college) are relegated to another table to eat. Of course both sides enjoy this, as we can correspondingly gossip about each other.
On the kids side: My neighbor whose parents make amazing food is currently a rising junior in high school, and so naturally his parents are thinking about college for him. He’s probably one of the most lively and hilarious kids I’ve ever met. Supposedly he doesn’t get As in school though, and his parents always tell him that he should be more like so-and-so (usually referring to either me, or another one of our friends who was this year’s high school salutatorian). His parents are also lively and fun people (and of course great cooks! Ahhh if only I lived with them—apparently the two of them together can make upwards of 300 dumplings from scratch within an hour), but they simply do not seem to see the fact that their son is talented in another way other than academics. I’ve never met a more charismatic and fun kid to be around, and I can completely see my young neighbor using those characteristics to his advantage. The point though is that often, we as a community may have too narrow a definition of success and talent. There are some people, like me for example, who naturally love school and are enamored by academics. But there are plenty of other people who are talented in other ways that are equally impressive. Thinking about success, my belief is that if you can identify one thing that you are good at and work on it, regardless of what it is—academics, art, sports, comedy, etc.—you will be successful. Now if only those people at the other table could understand and nurture that….