The hotel staff offers me cigarettes before I enter the room. Inside, a man and a woman hold hands on a revolving platform that spirals upwards. They wave to the crowd, the majority of whom are talking loudly to one another or playing on their phones. The host speaks into the microphone and attempts to project his voice over the cheesy love songs that are blaring through the speakers. Bubbles are released into the air only to be upstaged by heart shaped confetti. An old man comes out with his faced painted, dressed like a joker from the royal court. He holds a bottle of liquor, takes a swig and the audience cheers. Food arrives at the table and we begin to eat and drink. If it weren’t for the white wedding dress the woman is wearing, I would have almost forgotten she is a bride. Here in China, weddings are a fusion (or confusion?) of eastern and western tradition. It might be called a “wedding”, but I swear it’s really a Las Vegas show.
You don’t need to buy a ticket to this showcase of love, but you should put money in a red envelope called “hong bao.” It’s Wedding Etiquette 101 that Chinese prefer cash, not presents. This money goes towards paying for the tuxedo and wedding dress rented for the occasion. Hong bao also helps hire the emcee. He performs the duties of a preacher except he doesn’t hold a Bible and or make any religious references. Dress code? Please wear clothes. RSVP? Well, that’s French. I got my invitation thirty minutes beforehand.
The climax of the event is the exchanging of vows. Love is professed and filial piety is expressed to both the bride and groom’s parents. The entire wedding goes by in a flash since the ceremony and reception occur simultaneously. So if you want to have a drink with the funny old man, AKA father of the bride, you’d better hurry before the bottle runs dry. Because when it does, the curtain closes and THAT’S ALL FOLKS!