Today is Mother’s Day, and I re-visited a blog that I wrote precisely two years ago, “Dreaming of a New Beginning”, where I talked about my “complicated relationship” with my mother.
After many years of living apart, our thoughts and emotions grew distant. There were a few misunderstandings between us as a result of my decisions, some of which were inconsiderate and I now regret, some I do not.
In 2016, I was struggling to mend the holes in our relationship but found it hard because we were eight thousand miles apart. I could not even deliver a Mother’s Day gift to her door; instead, I could only send her a poem by email. This year, though, things are finally different. I have arrived at my “new beginning.”
Last winter, I moved to Hong Kong to be closer to my mother (and my father, too). My husband ended up coming here for his job, and he fully supported me as I tried to fix my relationship with my parents. At first, we hit some speed bumps, since my mother was not ready to see me around all the time, and the same for me. Slowly we got back on the right track. My husband and I helped them settle into their new apartment and renovated their old apartment, a long and tedious process that took more than four months. After the renovation, we rented the apartment and moved in. My mother is happy that her apartment issues have been solved, and that I’m around to help out nowadays.
When her birthday rolled around a few weeks ago, I helped her celebrate for the first time in eight years. I cooked her favorite foods in the particular way she prefers and gave her a lot of different health tea that she has always wanted to try. I also got her a skincare set because I felt that it’s not something she’d usually splurge on. Celebrating with her in person instead of over Wechat video call is so much better! For a moment I felt like I would break down in tears but I managed to hold them back because I didn’t want my mother to think something was wrong.
That day, my mother left my place with the things I got her, a birthday cake that she couldn’t finish, and a big smile on her face. I haven’t felt so accomplished in a long time. Though I’ve celebrated her birthday before, it was a long time ago, and these cherished memories became fuzzy with time. With a “new beginning”, I can now make new memories with my mother.
Today I won’t be seeing her because she is in Hunan province taking care of my grandpa. Our celebration of Mother’s Day will have to be postponed, but that’s okay. I’ve waited for years already, so I can wait a few days more.