Two weeks ago, I spoke at a Speed-Mentoring Night organized by Lean-in Boston Chapter.
As one of ten mentors at ten different tables, I chose a topic about Finding Your Voice.
In 15 minutes, a group of 10-15 women, mostly 20 and 30 something young professionals came to my table to hear me talk about Finding Your Voice.
What it means, why it’s important and how you can find it. Yes, there’s a Tipsheet. (See bottom)
Let me share with you what I had previously shared with them.
Several years ago, the first woman Secretary of State, Madeline Albright told a reporter –
“It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I am not going to be silent,” the former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright tells me, adding,
“I have had fun being who I became, so to speak.”
So that is the essence of what I have to say today –
Finding your voice takes a LONG TIME.
Once you found it, you don’t want to be silent.
It becomes your brand. Your instrument to influence people, make a difference or leave a mark in the world.
What does it mean?
Finding Your Voice means – your voice has been lost, stifled or silenced. Perhaps due to fear, insecurities, or intimidation by others.
Finding Your Voice means recovering and reclaiming what is rightfully yours – your thoughts and feelings about an issue, a cause, a position, or a person.
Finding Your Voice means putting in the effort to develop the courage and skills to speak up and speak out on your personal views. Your emotional truth.
Let’s face it.
Our voice is not always ready and able to make a positive impression.
Often we’re in a hurry, we’re under deadline.
We get upset, irritated or intimidated by others around us who seem more confident and self-assured.
We get tongue-tied. We get nervous. We make mistakes.
That’s why it takes a long time to develop your voice. it’s a lifelong process
Why it’s important?
Because we live in America – a liberal democracy that invites and depends on our participation.
Our voice is a vehicle for raising awareness, righting a wrong.
Our voices become votes. Our votes can determine who’s in power, who’s not.
Because we are social animals, we are workers, co-workers.
We need to connect with people and let them know who we are, how we think – so we can get along, so we can get things done, so we can have fun along the way.
Here are 7 Tips about Finding Your Voice –
- Listen Deeply – your peers, your boss, your mental model – for a reason/resonance/rhetoric
- How do they explain or justify a certain position, proposal or a new idea?
- How do they resonate with you or not?
- What is their rhetorical style – language, tone and pitch – that can be yours?
- Who can be your rhetorical role-model? Because you like their style, resonate with their reason.
- Jot down just 3 words at a time – that characterize their reason/resonance/rhetorical style. For example –
- On Rhetoric – You may say “Clear & Convincing, Simple & Straightforward, Firm and Friendly”
- On Reason – You may question its desirability, feasibility or fairness. So you say to yourself something like “Impossible/Inefficient/Costly,” “Undesirable/Unfair/Women,” “Unrealistic/Weird/Unprecedented”
- On Resonance – How does the rhetoric and the reason make you feel in your gut? What do you remember? What impress you? \
- Write 5 mins a day in a journal or diary – flesh out those 3 words (above). Time yourself. Stop at five minutes. Train your thinking and writing key points in 5 mins. You will be building the muscle of your voice that comes from your thinking and writing.
- Read – track issues or problems that you care about, apply the Rs – reason/rhetorical/resonance
- Watch Video – TED talk/YouTube/Movies – identify characters that personify those issues or carry a personality that can be your rhetorical role-model.
- Speak – Don’t just talk, enunciate your points. Pause, Pull back, Punctuate like your rhetorical role-model.
- Ask a question – Can you emulate what appeals to you? Can you avoid what turns you off?