I’ve often heard others tell me: “studying abroad has changed my life”. I thought they were exaggerating until I embarked my own journey to a semester in Hong Kong.
I love cities. The art scenes and diverse culture of cities fascinate me.
Growing up, I have always dreamed of living in either New York, London, or Hong Kong. I have been to the other two locations before this trip, and words could not describe how excited I felt when knowing that this time I am not just visiting the city, I am actually going to live there!
When I thought of Hong Kong, I thought of the movie scenes; I thought of Leslie Cheung, Anita Mui, the long beautiful cheongsam (長衫) and the ubiquitous cha chaan teng (茶餐廳; the Hong Kong equivalent of an American diner – known for affordable menus include dishes from local cuisine and Hong Kong-style Western cuisine). I can still remember so vividly, the first day when I arrived and got on a taxi going into Central (中環), the emotions bursting in my chest, the humidity brushing through my face, the salty taste in the air, and the spinning view of skyscrapers in my speeding taxi! As if all together they are whispering in my ear: welcome to Hong Kong!
Born in Hunan, the 7th most populous province of China located in the middle reaches of the Yangtze river and right above Guangdong province, where Hong Kong was part of before it was ceded to the British in the 19th century, I thought this experience will be more like study at home – little did I know, how drastically different this place was from my expectations.
For the first week or so, I felt uncomfortable. I always imagined the positive side of studying in a different region, and I never thought it also meant difficulties of adjusting into a new language, culture, way of life.
Though on the surface I was just like all the other seven million Asian faces, I went through a culture shock. I realized that I was more American than Chinese. I was also not comfortable physically. My skin had allergic reactions to the steaming humid weather, and my room was literally a box! However, none of these were important because all I remembered was the excitement and the inexhaustible energy.
I often ask myself, what if I did not study there, or went to some other locations? I probably would not have met such a diverse group of inspiring individuals, and I would definitely not have bought my one-way ticket to Tibet during reading week.
Since the grades from exchange program would not transfer to my official GPA, for the first time I let loose of my notion on aiming that A+ and let my interests guide my learning. I went out of my way to sit-in in classes that were not on my schedule and attended speaker series of topics unrelated to my major. When I received that transcript ranging from A+ to C+, I found out what I really love to learn.
Before Hong Kong, I felt content where I was. I was doing well in classes, and in the workplace as an RA and gallery docent. I just finished an internship with a prestigious bank that I have always dreamed of working for. Everything was set. However, while in Hong Kong, I started to question this mentality.
I asked myself a lot of questions that never came across my mind.
Why am I on this career path?
Is this just because that’s the top spot I should compete for?
Am I following the herd or my heart?
I had no ready answers. This troubled me until the second semester of senior year.
Upon graduation, I ended up choosing a job that’s different from what I wanted for the past three years in college. I still didn’t know if I would end up liking it. But now I am no longer a control freak and I am comfortable exploring. Maybe I will end up where I was again, but at least at that point, I would have figured out why, as opposed to following what everyone else wanted or I never dared to try anything else. People say it takes a lot of courage to be who you really are, but before that, it takes even more efforts to realize who you want to become.
Though I was excited most of the time, there were moments that I was homesick. Where is home? I missed the US, and I missed mainland China too. Just like how I realized I was deeply Americanized when interacting with Chinese locals or internationals, I also learned about my home countries (America and China) from a different lens—the good and the bad, that I either ignored or accustomed to in hindsight.
My happy memories from those four months were also mixed with stressful sentiments. My grandfather (爷爷) was hospitalized, and I did not know at that point in time, death was approaching him at a steady pace. I thought there was time. But he left me, a couple of days before my last exam—before my flight to visit him. Though I did not grow up with him, it was the first time I lost someone close. I thought there’s always a tomorrow and life is full of potential, but from that point on I realized life is also full of limits, and we have to make the best out of it.
The memories of Hong Kong are so vivid to me, not only because I was falling in love hard and falling apart hard, but also because the people I have met and the stories I have gathered. To me, what makes a city special is its past and the people. Together they give the city this unique culture that cannot find elsewhere. So for Hong Kong, it is fluid and constantly changing. The Hong Kong today will not be the Hong Kong tomorrow.
I love wandering, experiencing the unexpected and meeting strangers with a past or future to tell. From dining in upscale rooftop restaurants to eating at street hawkers, attending art auctions to strolling through night markets, dancing until 4 am and heading to the best dim sum place in herds—I still managed to go hiking the next day. Every day I was experiencing something different. I saw faces of hope, despair, and the beauty in every form of ugliness.
I met so many people, from so many backgrounds.
Whether that was walking into a boutique shop and listening about how the owner invented his own sparkling wine, or getting to know the tattoo artist who was a Certified Public Accountant and quitted her office job, or talking to social entrepreneurs spending days and nights to help the underprivileged, or seeing masses of Filipino maids who have nowhere to go on Sundays but to sit on the streets in picnic style, everyone I met came from somewhere, and was going somewhere.
What I saw, was the courage to live the life they wanted and the colorful dreams that together made Hong Kong shine so bright even at night.
No. I did not find Hong Kong in golden colors, the Hong Kong that I saw in films growing up. What I found in Hong Kong, was myself and the passion to live with no fears. I found my true colors and my spirit that has been asleep for so long. I found what it was like to live a life fully, to embrace all experiences—good or bad, to feel with all my heart—pain or happiness. I found the importance to be soft enough to feel everything, and strong enough to go through everything.
Studying in Hong Kong has taught me more about myself than a four-year degree ever would. It has become a big part of me, a plentiful mix of laughter, tears, love, and friendships. I’m sure one day I will be back at this unbelievable place, but it will be a different encounter then. Because I am no longer the me when I first arrived Hong Kong, and Hong Kong will no longer be the Home Kong I thought I knew.
