Watching two Americans speaking effusively to each other in Mandarin Chinese in front of a small group of mostly Chinese people is like watching Americans playing the Chinese game of “face” – a popular spectator sport in Chinese society.
It’s fascinating, and it makes me feel as if I were back in Hong Kong!
Here’s the context.
One of the two Americans was the former U.S. Ambassador to China, Jon Huntsman. He was the keynote speaker at the National Committee on US-China relations (NCUSCR) annual meeting in early June. The other American was a China specialist in the 500 strong audience – including me – at a packed auditorium inside a corporate skyscraper in New York.
Huntsman’s talk about the current state of US-China relations was in English, and presented on a big stage in an intimate one-on-one interview hosted by the NCUSCR president Stephen Orlins.
While Orlins was wrapping up the 2-hour-long interview by lavishing praises on Huntsman for his China experience, and lamenting over his aborted presidential campaign, Huntsman cleverly broke into perfectly articulated Chinese, saying – 谢谢你的夸张! (“Thank you very much for your exaggeration!”) The audience immediately erupted in hysterical laughter. And I whispered to myself – How masterful!
Everyone in the audience was visibly impressed by Huntsman’s Chinese prowess. And to me, he was also quick at converting a personal compliment into political currency, delivered in self-abasing humor with a touch of Chinese characteristics! He won the crowd.
As a seasoned Chinese-speaking diplomat in China, Huntsman knew exactly when and how to play to his audience, a predominantly Chinese-speaking group. His political savvy was not only for show on stage: It was equally impressive off stage.
And it was off stage where I witnessed his interaction with this other American (first name Susan), a China specialist who’d learned Chinese while studying in Taiwan and living with a Taiwanese family. Susan approached the former ambassador with a charming smile, and began her self-introduction in crystal-clear Mandarin Chinese about her recollection of Huntsman’s time in Taiwan and China, her own adventures there, and some of the social circles they both shared. It was a fine spectacle of the art of networking (guanxi-building or connection building -建立 关系) American style. Surprised and impressed by her flawless Chinese, Huntsman quickly responded with his equally exemplary Chinese about his time as a Mormon missionary in Taiwan and his fond memories of his friends there. The duo then carried on for the next ten minutes, reminiscing about their good old times in different parts of China and praising each other’s Chinese fluency, while remaining completely oblivious to the rest of us – a line of Chinese watching and waiting for our turns to shake hands with the former ambassador.
As a spectator of Huntsman’s on and off-stage public persona, I’m reminded of the social interactions among Chinese people whether they’re in China or America. I’ve observed so many instances where one tries to elevate the other’s “face/面子 ” (esteem or social standing) with compliments in front of other people, that when I saw that kind of scenario playing out between two Americans, I suddenly felt like we – as Americans and Chinese people – have suddenly merged into one world: The world of China, here in America. And that makes me feel right at home.
看着两个美国人热情洋溢地在一伙大多是中国人的人群前面用汉语谈话，就像是在看美国人玩那个中国社会中很流行的“面子”游戏一样，非常有意思，让人觉得似乎回到了香港！让我具体解释一下。
其中一个美国人是前美国驻中国大使洪博培。他是中美关系全国委员会（NCUSCR）年会的主讲人。另一个美国人在观众里：她是中国问题专家。包括我在内的五百位观众坐满了纽约的一栋企业摩天大楼的礼堂来听洪博培演讲。
洪博培用英文给我们讲他对中美关系现状的看法。他的演讲是通过被NCUSCR总统斯蒂芬奥尔林斯（Stephen Orlins）在大舞台上采访的方式进行的。
在长达两个小时的采访结束后，奥尔林斯大大地赞美了洪博培对中国问题的深刻了解，同时对洪博培终止总统竞选表示深为遗憾。那个时候，洪博培巧妙地插进来，用完美的中文说：“谢谢你的夸张！”引得观众们哄堂大笑。我低声对自己说：“真是高超！”
洪博培的中文能力很明显给每一个观众都留下了深刻的印象。对我来说，他的反应真快，他能很快就用具中国特色的自我贬低的幽默把称赞变成政治优势。真是让人佩服！
作为一个经验丰富的讲中文的外交官，洪博培确切地知道何时以及如何获得他的主要讲中文的观众的好感。他的政治能力在台上和台下都同样给人留下了深刻的印象。
在他下台以后我才目睹了他跟另一个美国人苏珊的交谈。苏珊是中国问题专家，在台湾学了中文。她笑着向洪博培走来，用流利的普通话介绍了自己。然后谈到她记得的一些洪博培在中国和台湾的事情，她自己在台湾的冒险，以及他们俩人共有的社交圈子。这是一个很典型的美式建立关系的例子。她的完美的中文令洪博培很惊讶。他也用完美的中文来回答她，同时也描述了他在台湾作为一个摩门传教士的经验。他们两个花了十分钟在一起回忆他们在台湾的经历，另外赞美彼此的中文水平，把我们这些排着队要跟前任中国大使见面握手的中国人都给忽略了。
洪博培在公众场合的表现让我想到了中国人的社交习惯。我常常目睹很多中国人用当众夸奖他人的方式试图给他人面子。所以，当我看到两个美国人也在用同样的方式拉关系，我突然觉得美国和中国这两个不同世界的距离拉进了，真让我有回家的感觉。