[Only in Beijing] The Grand Experiment大灾难

Just a few days ago, two tragedies struck elementary schools on both sides of the Pacific. In the wake of such horror, I can hardly bring myself to process any constructive thought. My sorrow chokes my words as the faith I hold in humanity faces an endless barrage of searing hot steel bullets.

I do not mean to use this as a platform for postulating grand theories about the differences between Chinese and American cultures of violence, nor do I presume to add to the debate on gun control and access to mental health care. This post is nothing but my catharsis.

One of my European friends here in Beijing, who will probably read this, took to Facebook yesterday and declared that the carnage in Newtown, Connecticut is proof of how late capitalism has rotted away American cultural values, signifying in turn the triumph of a “Chinese model.” Needless to say, the comment sparked much outcry, and my friend has since removed the post. Yet, the eerie poetry of the two tragedies triggers emotions running far deeper than the cold analysis so many have made: in China, the crazies can’t get guns.

I am ashamed that I come from a country that has time and time again shown itself incapable of preventing such massacres. Tonight, I know that I will go to sleep feeling for the first time that I am safer here than I would be back in my homeland. As the most powerful nation in the history of the world, how did we fail – all of us – to protect those elementary school students, who might have loved garbage trucks and kickball and hugging their big sisters as much as I or anyone else did at age seven?

Many of you have already begun to engage in a torrential debate that strikes at the heart of what we as Americans call our heritage: on one hand, the triumph of liberty and power of the individual; on the other, the right to live free from tyranny and fear. That discussion is a good and necessary thing, something that absolutely must yield action that solves this national crisis. For regardless of whether or not we feel safe from attack, we absolutely should fear the slow erosion of something greater. Now, more than ever, let us show the world that we are not full of hollow talk. Let us triumph over all that threatens to end this “Grand Experiment” – even when the danger lies within us.就在几天前，在太平洋的两岸发生了两起小学生悲剧事故。这些事故的接连发生让我感到恐慌、无法思考。我的感伤封存了我的词库，那些灼热的铁子弹抹杀了我对人性的信念。