Before I left Tianjin for good, my friend Zhang, an optometrist, called me to his glasses shop for one final goodbye. There, sitting on the counter, were two carefully wrapped cases for two pairs of new, custom-made glasses, his going-away present to me. I was overwhelmed by his generosity, but he gruffly insisted that I take them and leave to catch my train before I could properly thank him.
I was lucky to find several wonderful Chinese friends here, like Zhang, who helped me when my language failed or when I got lost or didn’t know how to buy train tickets, and so on. Through helping this bumbling foreigner, they came to be my friends. But on the eve of my departure from China, I have realized saying goodbye to them and thanking them is especially hard. I can’t say, “See you back in the States!” Or even, “I’ll be back soon.” And I certainly can’t thank them for a year’s worth of patience, help, and friendship in a few sentences of garbled Chinese.
The goodbyes were not easy. But my friends, as they always did, helped me along. The Chinese goodbye is a little different. Efficient, honest, practical. They don’t do the American elaborations of promised reunions and optimistic farewells. Zhang, Ying, Tiantian and the others just briefly hugged me, lamented that our opportunities to see each other in the future would be very limited, and then sent me on my way. But I know they cared by the way they sent me advice on taking the train and told me to drink enough water, the quintessential inseparability of Chinese love and guan (control). I’ll miss being guaned by my friends.
在我永久离开天京之前，我的朋友，Zhang, 一位验光师，把我叫到他的眼镜行跟我最后一次道别. 在柜台上，放着两个包装精美的壳子里面放着新的而且量身打造的眼镜．这是他送我的临别礼物．我对他的慷慨感到不知所措，但他只粗声的坚持我把礼物拿走然后在我能正式谢谢他之前就叫我去赶火车．
我很幸运在这里找到很多很棒的中国朋友, 像是 Zhang, 他在我语言失败，迷路或不知道怎么买火车票这种事情发生时帮助我. 透过帮助我这笨拙的外国人, 他们成为我最好的朋友. 但在我离开中国的前夕, 我意识到跟他们道别和谢谢他们是特别的难. 我不能说“在美国见！”或甚至是“我很快就会回来的.” 我更不能用几句难听懂的中文感谢他们一年以来的耐心, 帮助和友情.
道别并不简单, 但是我的朋友, 就像平常一样帮我走过. 中国的道别是不太一样的. 效率，诚实和实际. 他们不会像美国人一样会保证以后能再见面或像美国人一样很正向的跟人道别. Zhang，Ying, Tiantian 和其他人很快抱我一下, 表达因为未来见面的机会很低的感伤, 就把我送上路了. 但是他们还记得给我一些搭火车的意见和告诉我要多喝水, 这让我知道他们是在乎我的. 爱和管在中国是典型分不开的. 我会很想念被我朋友管的。