Despite having grown up in China and visited on several occasions, I had never been to Shanghai before this summer. After living there for three weeks in June and July on a post-graduate fellowship, I have come to embrace this city as one of my favorite places in the world. What’s not to love? The endless supply of delicious food (like Shanghai’s famous xiaolongbao) and stunning European-influenced architecture have endeared this cosmopolitan city to me unlike any Chinese metropolis has. But what struck me most about my brief sojourn in Shanghai were the men.
It is the men in Shanghai that carry this season’s most fashionable handbags. Whenever I was in a mall or walking down the streets and saw a couple, the man would invariably be carrying his wife’s or girlfriend’s purse in one hand and holding her hand with his other. When I noted my observation to my host family, they told me that it was because Shanghai men are unlike their counterparts in any other part of the country.
Even the people I worked with joked that if I were to marry someone Chinese, I should marry someone from Shanghai. It is standard that Shanghai men do housework. They believe that doing their part around the house shows that they respect women and view them as equals. Shanghai men have often been dismissed as “soft” or “submissive,” but personally, I feel it is a breath of fresh air from the pervasive patriarchal culture in China.
But is there anything different about Shanghai girls? From what I have gathered, Shanghai girls, like many Chinese women, make their marriage choices shrewdly. If a man does not have an apartment, a nice car or a considerable salary, he can be hard-pressed to find any dating prospects.
In Shanghai, it seems that women hold the power—like I said, what’s not to love?
尽管在中国长大并多次回国访问，但我从来没有到过上海。今年夏天，我获得一个研究生奖学金，然后在六月和七月间在上海生活了三个星期。我终于能够拥抱这座世界上我最喜欢的一个城市。有没有什么不喜欢的呢？源源不绝的美味食物，比如上海著名的小笼包，还有迷人的欧洲式的建筑簇拥着这个国际大都会，有别于其他的中国大成市。但让短暂停留的我惊呀的是，上海男人。
上海男人们总是手拿着最时髦的手袋。每当我走在街上或者走在商场，总会看到一对对的夫妇。男人总是会一只手携着妻子或女友，另一只手提着他伴侣的手袋。当我提到这个我观察到的现像，我的寄宿家庭的主人告诉我，这是上海男人的独特传统。
甚至那些同我一起工作的人跟我开玩笑说，如果我想同中国人结婚，我就应该同上海男人结婚。标准的上海男人应该会做家务。因为他们认为打理好他们家庭的里里外外是他们上海男人的责任，这可以表明他们尊重妇女。在中国，上海男人往往被斥为“软弱”或者 “顺从”，但对我个人来说，我觉得相对于中国普遍的大男子主义，这是一个非常新奇的方面。
但上海女孩有什么不同呢？我所观察到的许多上海女孩，同其他中国女性一样： 她们选择婚姻时很精明。要是一个男人没有一套公寓，一辆好车，或相当高的工资，那他就很难找到任何约会的女友。
在上海，似乎妇女主宰家庭——就像我说的，还有什么你不喜欢的吗？