This is not my first time in America, but is definitely my first time in a typical American family and my first Thanksgiving in a true sense.
I was invited to join my roommate’s family for Thanksgiving dinner during Thanksgiving break in her home, which is in a small town in the city of Rochester in New York State. It was only a two hours’ drive from Cornell campus. This was my first time in an American town. After having got used to life in big cities in China where nearly everyone is squeezed between skyscrapers and could hardly find a parking space, it was a completely different living environment. Every house has a garage and the houses are separated from one another. Every family has at least one car to commute, and it was hard to find taxi around. However, my discoveries were far more than that. There are three children in the home, two girls and one boy, and my roommate is the oldest one. Since they are all homeschooled, every room in the house looked like a micro-library with a huge collection of books, ranging from textbooks to coffee table books. However, every room has its own characteristics in accordance with the owner’s personality and interests. The boy’s room was filled with pieces of Lego and there was literally no room to stand; my roommate’s sister’s bookrack exhibited all kinds of Matryoshka dolls and pasted a piece of paper with artsy Chinese characters of her English name on her door. My roommate’s bookshelf displayed diverse species of turtles and other tiny artworks–everyone’s hobbies and characteristics are fully respected and appreciated.
I was also impressed by the harmonious relations and atmosphere in the family. The three brothers and sisters not only support each other but also altogether support the family. On the one hand, they watched movies, played games, and chatted with one another; on the other hand, they help their parents do housework as much as they can. Whenever it was time to have a meal, I could always see them working with their mom in the kitchen, either cutting the vegetables, preparing the table, or packing bowls and plates after meal. I observed that the most commonly used phrase is “Thank you”. The atmosphere in the house contrasted greatly to the environment outside. Although the streets are silent, vacant, and even a little bit desolate, every house located in the streets is full of love and vigor.
Nevertheless, in China, it is not completely the same scenario. Most families in China have only one child, which means that these children do not grow up living with sisters or brothers. This only child is therefore burdened with all the pressure and expectation from their parents. Usually, they do not talk much with their parents at home and are busy finishing all the assignments from all kinds of classes. As a result, a sense of family is gradually diminished.
Our Thanksgiving dinner started one day before, when my roommate’s mom busily prepared all the ingredients, including carrot, potatoes, other kinds of vegetables, and of course, sauces. The morning of Thanksgiving Day was even busier because the real “battle” began. We got up early to bake turkey, vegetables, pies, and cakes, and the whole house smelled like Thanksgiving! Around noon, the guests started arriving one after another. My roommate’s grandparents, her cousin’s family, and some of her friends all came, and in the end, there were thirteen people for dinner.
Different families have different traditions for the dinner. We started eating at around 2 p.m.. When everyone was in the seat, we started passing around the dishes and sharing food. As I and my friend are the new guests in this family’s Thanksgiving dinner, people were curious about what is the biggest festival in China that bring the whole family together, and what we usually eat. They were even interested in going to China one day to taste our culture. However, contrary to what I thought, there was no one saying “Thank you” on purpose during dinner or even during the day. The dinner and the day are nothing unusual except that the house was packed with people we love and more food.
After spending one full day during Thanksgiving in an American family, I realize that the so-called “Thanksgiving” is not saying “Thank you mom” at the table during the dinner, but is reflected in every detail in everyday life.
Note: This blog was first published when SIchun was a student at Cornell. Now, she is attending law school at University of Michigan.