The Model Boyfriend?模范男友？

Asian masculinity has been a long standing issue in American culture, particularly with all the detrimental stereotypes and “yellow fever,” where Asian males see white males “stealing their women.” For example, in response to Jenny An’s article where she declares she would never date an Asian male, Clarissa Wei wrote “I Am an Asian Woman and I Think Asian Boyfriends Are Superior (Well, Mine is Anyway.” Wei embraces the model minority rather than rejects it. “Hard-working, humble, unwavering loyal to the family? …Why the hell would you say no to that?” she declares. But does she miss the point?

I honestly found Wei’s article almost as unproductive as An’s. While An’s article argues that dating non-Asian males reaffirms her “Americanness,” Wei reinforces strange stereotypes of Asian males. Wei not only boasts about the high income and education of her boyfriend, but also his loyalty to family. Ok, sure, but an overall statistic isn’t going to convince me to date within a specific race. Also, her bolded headlines? “He bombards me with gifts and food,” “He helps me keep fit,” “He’ll make a good husband for me” – what am I shopping around for the best boyfriend or husband model? Asian males should not be commodities that list their good features on the back of a package.

To get a better picture of what Wei is trying to do, it’s probably best to look at An’s article that no doubt prompted her. An wrote about never wanting to date an Asian male. So Wei possibly wanted to side with Asian males, telling them that not all Asian girls were abandoning their male counterparts. I skimmed through the comments section of An’s article, and there were countless males who lashed out at her for, in essence, “betraying” her race. If that is the case, does Wei try to prove there are Asian girls faithful to their race and accept the label of the model minority?

While I’m sure she meant to redeem Asian male qualities in the face of An, but I find Wei’s reductionist policy detrimental. Not every single Asian male likes math, school, or buying girls expensive gifts and food – and they shouldn’t be expected to. I greatly sympathize with Asian American males, who have long battled with the effeminate stereotype. In American culture, they get the short end of the stick when people think of their sexuality and masculinity. America doesn’t quite embrace Asian males the way it does Asian women, but I would argue that while Asian males are desexualized, Asian females are over sexualized. When I google “Asian women” images, all I see are cutesy Asian women who are all showing off their cleavage in skimpy bikinis.

Ultimately, stereotypes of all kinds are harmful to all of us, male or female. Probably a good start would be recognizing that the model minority male or the sexual fetish female should not be viewed as “superior” advantages in the Asian dating realm.

在美国文化中，亚洲阳刚之气是一个显著的话题，尤其与一些不利的刻板印象相联系，以及“黄种人的气愤”，指亚洲男人认为白种男人偷走了他们的女人。

比如，作为回应Jenny An宣称永远不会与亚洲男人约会的文章，Clarissa Wei 写到：“我是一个亚洲女人。我认为亚洲男人非常好（嗯，至少我男友非常好.)”  Wei热爱这个模范的少数群体而不是拒绝他们。她说：“他们努力工作、谦逊、不动摇地忠诚于家庭。你到底为什么会对他们说不？”但是她是不是没有抓到重点？

我真的发现Wei的文章不如An的文章有信息量。An说和非亚洲男性约会会增强她的“美国性”。 Wei则强调了亚种男性奇怪的原型。Wei不仅炫耀了她男友的高收入、高学历，还提到了他对家庭的忠诚。她是对的，但是总体的数据并不会让我愿意和这个种族的男性约会。同时她重点强调她男友什么呢？“他给我买很多礼物和食物。”“他帮我保持体型。”“他会是一个好老公。”我是什么？像购物一样在挑男友或模范老公？亚洲男性不应该是那些在背面列出其良好功能的商品。

为了更好地理解Wei试图做的事，我们最好看看An的文章。An写到她不会想和亚洲男性约会。因此，Wei也许想站在亚洲男性一边，告诉他们不是所有的亚洲女孩都抛弃了他们。我看了对An文章的评论，有数不清的男性骂她背叛自己的种族。如果是这样的，那么Wei是不是在试图证明有亚洲女孩是忠于她们的种族并接受模范少数族裔的标签？

我知道Wei想要挽回亚洲男性的一些特质，但是我发现Wei的简化政策是不利的。不是每一个亚洲男性都喜欢数学、学校，给女孩买昂贵礼物和食物。并且他们不应该期待这么做。我非常同情美国亚裔男性，他们长期与柔弱的刻板印象对抗。在美国文化里，当人们评价他们的性倾向和阳刚之气时，给的评价比较低。美国人并不像亚洲女性那样接受亚洲男性。但是我认为亚洲男人被低估了他们的性感，而亚洲女人则被高估了。当我用谷歌查找亚洲女性的图片时，我看到的都是那些穿着比基尼的女性。

最终，对于男性和女性的所有刻板印象对我们都是有害的。也许一个好的开始是认识到在亚洲交友中心领域，模范少数族裔男性和性感女性都不应该被看作是“高人一等”。