“Just what is the rush? Just what is your rush?”
The late middle aged man in the dark blue pinned striped suit and chrome red tie asked me, perched at his grey spotted desk. The gaze behind his deep blue eyes still sharp behind a balloon nose, swallow-like chin and thinning brown hair.
I looked to the white door to my left and around the fluoro-lit office, wordlessly stuttering out vague “ahhs” and “umms.” He continued looking at me.
Sitting opposite me was one of the most influential men in Australia. His delicate British tone reminded me of times when high tea was considered a ritual, when guests left a house visit smelling of smoke and their bellies full of cakes and sandwiches.
I was helping his not-for-profit organization run an event called the “Future Summit on China” that brought together the Prime Minister, business leaders with extensive experience in China, and the Chinese business community. It was a panel on how Australia should best continue building a relationship with China. During that time, I couldn’t help but seek his advice on whether I should begin my career in China or in Australia.
“What clock are you running on?” He asked me.
“Well I feel pressure, when I look at my friends who are working, from my family…” I trailed off. “I’m 24 years old and I should be on some sort of career path…”
“An old man then.” His assistant walked into his office and discussed some paperwork. I resisted the urge to run from the room.
“Some people make 20 year plans, and few people work them out,” He continued after his assistant left. “The ones that do get so fixated on the goal they miss out on the life here and now. Life is uncertain. Take your time, don’t rush into things.” I nodded slowly.
“What do you want to do?” His instincts were sharp, sensing something amiss in my story.
“I want to work 3 years in banking, prove to myself and others that I can do it, and then opportunities will open up.” This was a well versed line.
“You can prove yourself in a labour camp.” A wry grin touched his eyes. “Everyday when you wake up, ask yourself what you want to do. Eventually your subconscious will work itself out.”
A thought crossed my mind: This former investment banker was speaking from a privileged position – he was comfortable, he was set. But then I imagined his likely response:
“So then what?”
After our conversation, I realized that I had — like all of us do — an invisible clock ticking at me, and instead of embracing the idea that time is limited, I was consumed by it. However, I think that once you begin to value the present moment, these self-imposed barriers may just start to crumble.