Last Sunday I went to a family dinner with my cousins at the house of my nephew’s fiancé, a typical Italian-American family in southwest Chicago. It was said to be a family dinner, but according to their tradition, the “dinner” is actually a combination of “lunch” and “dinner”, so it’s usually served at 2 p.m.
As we entered her house, I saw her mom making a salad in the kitchen, mixing lettuce with tomatoes, onion and freshly prepared croutons. Her dad was cooking barbecue ribs and beef on a grill. When dinner was finally served, they set up a long table and put all the dishes on it: ribs, beef, baked potatoes, corns, and salad with various kinds of sauces—it was a feast!
While enjoying the tasty food, we didn’t talk much, because some of my older cousins don’t speak English and the family of my nephew’s fiancé doesn’t speak Chinese, but as we finished the dinner, we all happily smiled to each other to show our satisfaction.
After the feast, it was only around 3 p.m.. Every one took a seat in the backyard, enjoying the warm sunshine of Sunday afternoon. We talked from time to time and I switched between Chinese and English while talking to different relatives. My nephew and I even interpreted for my cousins in order for them to talk with the family of my nephew’s fiancé.
Language barrier prevented both families from accurately understanding each other’s words, but we could somehow feel each other’s emotions through eyes.
About an hour later, we had some snacks: sliced watermelons and “Tanghuajuan” (糖花卷, traditional Chinese steamed twisted rolls mixed with sugar and sesame butter) that my cousins and I made the night before.
After taking snacks, some started to play basketball in the backyard. I joined in some of their simplest games that involved only making shots in tight space. However, spatial limitation didn’t’ seem to bother anyone. We made very creative shots: some tried shooting with one hand, while others even tried shooting behind the backboard!
Whatever we did in the afternoon—eating, talking, playing games or just chilling, our pace seemed to be rather slow. When I was about to leave her house, it was already 6 p.m.! What did I do in the past 5 hours? Not much.
It was a warm Sunday afternoon and we simply let the time pass peacefully, enjoying every minute with our family.
When I was about to say goodbye to everyone, my cousin said this to me in Chinese, “Her family doesn’t do much on Sunday afternoons, just sit together to have dinner and chill. It’s unimaginable in our lives, isn’t it? But it’s their tradition.”
I, too, shared similar feelings.
It’s quite unusual for a family to keep such a tradition year after year, regardless of the changing lives of everyone.
I asked myself: what did I usually do on Sunday afternoons? I remember myself doing homework that was due on the next Monday or cramming for upcoming exams. Even during breaks, I always seem to have tasks at hand. Probably I’ve been moving too fast these years.
To be honest, though I can’t keep myself busy all the time, if given a whole afternoon to spare, I’m more afraid of being unproductive than being busy.
Keeping myself busy brings me a somewhat distorted sense of fulfillment. I guess this is a crucial aspect of my education, which taught me to make the best use my time. So I have been trained with the idea that even if I don’t have to study all the time, I should always occupy myself with something to do: reading, writing or even go traveling, as long as it seems to be “productive” and “rewarding”. I should have a plan and can’t just let the time pass.
However, I gradually realize now that sparing myself on a warm Sunday afternoon and doing nothing doesn’t hurt. There’s nothing wrong to occasionally let myself be unproductive. Slow down your pace sometime – enjoy yourself and the simplicity of life!